The thoughts I have penned down below are recollection from a talk I delivered for women employees in Corporation Bank and also repeated in my office for women’s day last year.

Four points which came to my mind for my sisters to have a decent life. I have compiled this from the lives of women I have met in family, school, college, work place and my own experience.

I have not tried to be politically correct. All points may not suit all. Please take what suits you and leave the rest!

Take care of your health

No compromise on this point. And I consider this to be the most important aspect which women should take care of! Take care of your diet, find time for exercise and do your routine checkups. Whatever said and done and whatever changes have happened in the society, women still have majority of the responsibility in running the house. They remain the fulcrum of the family. And acts as the primary care giver of the family. It is important that you maintain proper health yourself so that you can take care of others. For working women this becomes a daunting task too! You are expected to stay home and take care whoever falls sick – whether it is father in law, mother in law, father, mother, husband, kids and finally yourself! For this it is extremely important you have good health.

Be independent

Have a job / business which gives you a steady income from which you can save too! Make sure you have your own bank accounts, your own savings, your own investments and at least a 300 sq.ft place of your own to stay. You may have the best husband, children, in laws in the world! But be prepared for an eventuality in case you have to be alone. Life is never predictable, and changes are the only things which is permanent.

Learn how to ride a two-wheeler or car. Freedom to move around helps you more than anything else. You do not have to dependent on others for small errands and gives you a lot of flexibility. Also, this skill can be helpful in case of an emergency. Treat this like a life skill.

Relationships

Maintain relationships within family and outside, whether it is at work place or in social circles which you move around.

Try to maintain a good relationship with your in-laws and parents. They are your support system especially if you are working. If your parents / in-laws are helping you to maintain your house, take care of your kids etc. never forget to thank them and express them in words. Listening from your mouth will be more valuable than showing in terms of gifts which is also important. Never take them for granted. The same is true about your cook / domestic help. Acknowledge their contribution in making your life smoother!

Have good relationships at your work place also. Keep your manager, colleagues informed about the challenges you have at home if any in brief. They will be able to understand and support you in case of an emergency. Maintain a cordial relationship with people with whom you interact daily – whether it is your auto driver, office assistants, security people. They can be of immense help in way you would have never imagined. It can be as simple as collecting a courier for you!

Have your own set of friends! For women, once you are married in our social and cultural scenario, tend to get disconnected from their set of friends due to relocation and other social pressures. Your husband’s friend’s wives become your “friends” whether you like it or not! But I am glad this is changing! Husbands relocating to suit wives job and women maintaining their set of friends is normal now. Technology and social media definitely helps.

It is also good to have friends from both genders. Many times you will get a totally different view point from your male friends which can help you to take correct decisions.

Also select your friends carefully. You can get influenced by friends easily. Have positive people around you. Do not get influenced by others. Use your brains and decide what is good for you. Stay away from people who brings stress and negativity to you. Have positive influence on your friends. Be careful about whom you share what with!

Happiness

Believe that you are the reason for you being happy. It is not dependent on others. Do not give that privilege or control to others. Do things you like, or you enjoy. Spend on yourself and on things which will make your life easy. Employ a cook / helper in the house. You will get quality and happier time with your family if you do not have to spend your precious time cooking and cleaning daily. Pamper yourself with a massage or pedicure occasionally. Go out with your friends for a movie or Shopping. Take vacations for yourself where you can be free and not “take care” of others! Identify your passions and indulge in the same. Do not get worked up about things you cannot change. It will be simpler to accept them and move on rather than wasting your efforts on trying to change things which you cannot have control on!